MARCH 7TH - 'THE BLIND SIDE' OF AN ASSHOLE
PK
1 Comment
It's a sound that is unmistakable.
Click.
Clang.
Cling.
Cling.
Clang.
Yep, the sound of a blind man's pole banging into anything and everything as he makes his way from one end of the train to the other... the other, of course, is where I am sitting. As he nears, it becomes apparent he is homeless and begging for money.
For Christ's sake, why does this always happen to me. I'm too good of a person to resist these people in their plight to stick needles in their arms. Luckily, in this case at least, I may be in the clear. How it usually goes down is I mistakenly make eye contact and that seals my doom. They immediately lock in on me and being the weak little piece of shit I am, I submit and hand over whatever change I have on my person.
This time, I was feeling generous and well, awful at the same time. He hit EVERY pole on the way towards me. EV-ER-RY POLE. It was beautiful... too bad he wasn't there to see it.
Anyway, I pulled out a buck and waited for him to make his way 50ft, which was roughly 5minutes. Of course, being the crazy homeless man that he is, he was rambling about some armageddon or how he lost his job and family or some whacky story. I waited patiently. Dollar firmly in my hand, arm stretched out wide, a gaping smile on my face, a black stare on his. BOOM! A perfect handoff...
Shit, he didn't know I put anything in his can. He didn't recognize my donation and therefore, in the game of life, it doesn't count. I won't get that much need 'God bless you' from a homeless man that I constantly crave to get through my day.
So I reach back up to try and touch his hand so gently just to give him the impression I did just put something in the can; he'll then reach down and feel the bill and all will be right in the universe. Perfect plan...
He pulls away as if I was trying to take his riches and dares to give an ugly look in my direction.. which is basically left. He was partially correct in his direction, though, because along with half the train car, I was also to his left. He then stumbled back down to the other end of the train.
What a blind asshole. I give you the crispest dollar bill I have and you give me an attitude. My Irish eyes are not smiling and you sir, your eyes are not working.
Me - 1.
Blind Asshole - 0 or O, he doesn't know the difference.
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Reader Comments (1)
Hobos are at the very top of things I'm scared of, including exploding teeth and being sat on by fat people. They are desperate people. What they can do with a water bottle is not what you and I can do. Once, I saw this hobo parked right outside the coffee shop, knowing that people will have change from their purchase, and literally grabs the change from people's hands. Needless to say, I used my friend as a human shield.