THe FReCKLeD FINGeR

"So... Gonna tell them the good news?!"

This is what I heard from a group of people behind me as everyone stands around while their dogs play off leash in a sectioned off corner in Central Park.  I turned to see a woman talking to her son, urging him to ramble off to these helpless folks about his supposed 'good news'. 

Oh no!  I just shit all over myself in excitement!  Please tell me what the good news is stranger talking to other strangers.  I'm pretty sure this audience did not want to hear what this shithead had to say any more than I did.  This person could have said:

"HOLY SHIT! Orangutans!!!"

I still would have blew off this inconsiderate ass to pick my dog's crap up. I was actually looking forward to my dog defecating so I could walk away from this nonsense.

"G'head... tell 'em what colleges you got into!"

Are you kidding me?  This is the 'good news'?  Gimme a goddamn break, lady.  I gathered from their prior subject matter for the conversation that these people have never met one another before tonight.  This lady jumped AT LEAST three social steps in the matter of 10mins of talking.

• "What kind of dog is that?"
• "How old is he?"
• "Listen to what colleges my son got accepted to."

No.  You know what?  No.  I'm not going to sit here and eves drop on your self-serving bullshit.  Trying to validate all the time and money you spent on SAT preps and road trips to potential schools to all these people on my time?  I say nay. 

All this carrying on may have been a show to cover up and fantasize for a moment because, to be honest, I thought he was retarded for the first 6-8minutes I was there.  Who clings to their mother that closely without the state requiring you to do so?  To stay on the same subject, he sounds like he is one facial and Cosmopolitan away from being a full blown homosexual... no 18yr old boy should make those noises when petting dogs.  What is that, an excited squeal?

A MUSIC MAJOR?!?!  Ha!  Godspeed HoMozart.