THe FReCKLeD FINGeR

Just saw another one.

Yep.

There's more.

More awful garage bands taking up my coveted advertising time on the television.

I thought the FreeCreditReport.com (Enrollment required with TripleAdvatage) fad would come and go, and to be perfectly frank, I may have swayed my head and snapped a finger or two... but that was then.  It was a mere 25 months ago when I first bore witness to the TV spot and they haven't missed a day. 

Now there are more songs for FreeCreditReport.com (Enrollment required with TripleAdvatage)... everywhere.

The absolutely non-fiction conversation that went on after the FreeCreditReport.com (Enrollment required with TripleAdvatage) suits saw the ad they produced:

Suit 1: You know, Collins, I'm not totally sure about this jingle.

Suit 2: What do you mean, Harper?

Suit 1: Well, it's really goddamn annoying and I think I hate it.

Suit 2: A-ha!  But you're thinking about it, aren't ya!

Online Colleges have come along for the ride as well, but their rendition features some bitch dancing in her underwear to hip, indie ear-rape because 'you can go to classes in your pajamas!!!'.  By the way, if you get inspired or are filled with excitement when you see commercials for colleges that offer convenience instead of a real education, your life will forever stink... and as God as my witness, for those of you who do not heed my warning, we will meet again on the way down and I swear I will make you eat my shit with A1 Sauce.  Consider yourselves warned.

Now 'The 2010 Census' has a fuckin' nonsense garage band playing songs to help get us motivated to do stuff.  No one wants to do stuff.

WHO RESPONDS TO THIS SHIT?

I have come to the realization, however, that it is not these companies that fall under blame.  I say NAY!  It's the bands' fault... there are way too many.  They must be stopped because, as we are all now witnesses of, they will not stop themselves and they will make poor decisions that affect us.  Getting a paycheck to do this shit does not make you a professional musician. No, no, it makes you responsible for cervical cancer. 

Flaunting His long hair and defiance of shirts, Jesus Christ is pure fuckin' ROCK-n-ROLL and He does not roll with this corporate sell out bologna.  He had a band, JC & The APOSOULS and they knew when to stop.  In fact, Judas, their manager, was payed 30 pieces of silver to try and persuade them to play the High Priest's daughter's Bat Mitzvah but knowing their time in rock was done, they declined... and we all know what took place next.

 According to the famed Rolling Stone reporters, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, JC & The APOSOULS never sold out.

I will withhold God's Will and bring His wrath to those who have forsaken Him.  It clearly states in the Bible:

"...light fire to all men who bear false witness to rock with their skinny jeans and to the males who wear scarves in weather above 40 degrees shall be hung with previously discussed scarves."