THe FReCKLeD FINGeR

It may not already be an illness, but I know I have it... and I know it sucks.

I am unable, completely incapable rather, of going #2 without the aid of a third party.  I need 1.) a toilet, 2.) the urge to go and 3.) a gaming machine.  Otherwise, I am writhing in pain with insufferable constipation.

Over the many years of using some kind of hand-held device to help me through the duty (doodie?), I've unknowingly conditioned myself to only be able to go when using such a device.  Kind of like Pavlov's Log.

Whether it is a hand-held solitaire game, Tetris on the GameBoy, an app on the iPhone or even typing a shitting Rant on a shitty website, I need something to poop.

Let's put Aids and cancer research on hold for half a decade and get this bedpan-demic (<---- you see what I did there?) under control.