THe FReCKLeD FINGeR

    Let's stick with the theme of obesity but move it, slowly and sweatingly, in a different direction.  How to insult one's obese mother.  See, where I come from, the kids all make fun of one another's mother.  I don't see the fun in that.  I especially don't appreciate it when all of the young men laugh at little Jeffrey's mother, who happens to be my wife.  Though, when I watch these kids, from my van, while they laugh and giggle in the playground, I can hear their 'Momma Jokes'.. and they have changed since I used to use them.  Today, kids are much more cynical.  Here are some I heard before being escorted away:

"Yo Momma so fat, she developed such an aggressive case of diabetes and had to have her feet amputated" 

"Yo Momma so fat, she bakes a lot of cakes and let the pilot light in the oven burn out, releasing dangerously high levels of carbon monoxide into the house killing her newborn triplets"

"Yo Momma so fat, she had to have her knees replaced and due to the surgery, she missed her father’s funeral"

"Yo Momma so fat she got colon cancer and died before this ‘Yo Momma’ joke was finished"

 "Yo Momma so fat, she broke a chair at the neighborhood deli, and shot herself in the head because of the embarrassment" 

 "Yo Momma so fat, all of her weight caused scoliosis, rendering her in a wheelchair for the rest of her life" 

"Yo Momma so fat, she had a severe heart attack and left her three kids motherless" 

 "Yo Momma so fat, she eats a lot and she was making stir-fry when she accidentally caused a fire that swept through the surrounding apartments, killing 13 and leaving 30 families homeless"