MARCH 4th: THE FAKE FETUS CAMPAIGN '08
PK
3 Comments
Being a cartoonist, there really isn't much more going on in your day other than doodling and stealing internet. Well my parents have cable, so I can watch tv from time to time when I get a moment to walk away from my Crayola Art Corner. Today I was distracted with the show 'Maury Povich'. This show is genius. They know exactly what they are doing and they are your go-to show when you want to see awkward, live, paternity test results... believe me, it is much more fun when it is fictional and your name is not on the envelope. What I don't get is where they keep finding these single mothers of 2+ children to put on the show. They are all looking for that same MUTHA F**KIN' DOG. HE AIN'T NO MAN. A MAN TAKE CARE HIS KIDS! SORRY ASS WANGSTA. Sound familiar? Yep, same guy as last episode I think. Well here is a plan for all of these woman who are apparently addicted to pregnancy: Stop sleeping wit' dem. Now I like sex as much as anyone, granted it gets expensive sometimes, but I know when to stop. It is either one of three instances that give me the red light:
1.) 5-0 is comin'!
2.) I discover a penis.
3.) I may get you pregnant.
I feel that is an easy philosophy to follow, right? So, here is my plan for whoever wins the next presidential contest thingie: "THE FAKE FETUS CAMPAIGN '08". That's right, let's give these 'nasty-ass tricks' a trial pregnancy. Considering they are always coming on Maury to try and find the playa that did them up good, looking for money to support dey' kids... Let's give all of them either a Giga Pet or a Furbie. These things supposedly die when you don't feed them or care for them? Perfect, that is kind of like a real life baby. If they can go 1 year on their own and keep these toys alive, then we can set them free to wangsta-ville to have some rompous crack-den mating rituals. It's easy. America is over populated. Raising a fence on the border of Mexico isn't the problem, they only get more agile - it's simple evolution. This is the root. Stop it now. It is up to you Hillary, Obama or other guy.
I'm Hilary Clinton, and I approved this message.
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Reader Comments (3)
"Raising a fence on the border of Mexico isn't the problem, they only get more agile." --- See, now that is the kind of wisdom I'd like to hear from my presidential candidates. Pk for President.
I love the Maury episodes where they do "Are you my baby daddy?". The best is how Maury sets it up.
"Darnell......you are........not the baby daddy!!!
The crowd goes nuts, the woman falls off her chair crying and the dude starts jamming like the 'Godfather of Soul' himself.
To hell with the damn Ferbie. Kill these people who cintinue to bring chlidren into the world and expect others to pay. Every other species in the world eliminate their week. We let them live and provide for them with welfare in some effort to make ourselves feel humane.
That is basically every episode of Maury. Which is why it is on 3x's a day... just great television