THe FReCKLeD FINGeR

    Remember the time when you see a group of two or more really hot girls in the same area for some reason?  It is usually on the college campus or basically anywhere I am not.  Well there is always this bozo with some kind of sweater, usually argyle, that walks around with a dog and all of the girls flock over to him.  That guy could have sex with basically any one of those girls... it is that easy.  While hard working men, like the one I hope to grow to be, have to do things the old fashioned way - you know, rooting around in their trash all afternoon until we find out their name.  No, he just skips steps of the dating process and just walks around with a dog, sweater and or blowout haircut. 

"Oh, his name?  It's Barky." 

    These boners usually name their dog some lame ass name, but the girls love it anyway, and at that point its all over. 

'Yep, me and Barky just wanted to go out for a stroll along Sorority Row.  Me?  yea, I am 8 inches." 

    Boom!  There is some kind of sex in this guy's immediate future.  Me, I walk around with an annoying barking shitting machine for 13 hours a week and I get stopped by gay men, large fat women who think my dog is small game to hunt or by the resident Guatamalan delivery boy/man who continues to yell 'perro!' at my dog.  His name is Sniffy.  I don't call you 'Honduras'.