THe FReCKLeD FINGeR

    In honor of the late super-Indian - Mahatma Gandhi - today we are going to to be talking about the diet that is all the craze right now:  anorexia.  Or, maybe we will pretend to talk about it, take it off our plates then throw it away when others aren't looking - giving the impression that we did read it and we are in fact, leading a very healthy and normal life.  

'Mom, every girl my age has their ribcage visible... God, you just don't understand me.  Why do we have to eat dinner tonight?  We just ate yesterday.  This is sooo unfair!'

 Well all you pre-teens, tweens, teens and post-teen girls out there, chalk anorexia up to my man Mahatma.  Jared might have lost all of his weight eating submarines and sweating to pornography and Kirsty may be the newest obese-former starlet spinning the wheels for Jenny Craig...  but you Mahats, you are the forefather of not eating. 

Was it because you wanted to drop some emergency LBs before junior prom?  NO.

Was it because  you were mocked all through grade school for being a chubby boy?  NO.

Was it because you have severe psychological issues stemming from years of parental sexual abuse and neglect?  N/A.

    No MaHOTTTma.  You did not eat for extensive periods of time because you were non-violently protesting the British.   Actually, that is kind of lame... and how did he ever win anything against Britain by not eating?  Gandhi is pretty goddamn dumb.  Haven't you ever heard of a pipe-bomb?  You're a Mahatmasshole.